Measured Extravagance

26 October 2001 - 4:13 a.m.

Ack. It was the sort of day where I found myself trying to hop into the cab of a tow truck while wearing an exceedingly short, tight-at-the-thighs black dress which I'd thrown on because it was clean and I'd figured range of motion wasn't going to become a priority over the next ten hours. Oy, did I figure wrong: the word "undignified" springs to mind.

On the other hand, the Beautiful Young Man grinned at me appreciatively as he drove me home: "It is a short dress! Heh." Too bad we've been up far too late debugging software (lui) and drafting an outline (moi) instead of pursuing the usual results of little-black-dress appreciation.

It must be troubling for the god who loves you
To ponder how much happier you'd be today
Had you been able to glimpse your many futures.
It must be painful for him to watch you on Friday evenings
Driving home from the office, content with your weekó
Three fine houses sold to deserving familiesó
Knowing as he does exactly what would have happened
Had you gone to your second choice for college...

    - Carl Dennis

Indeed. Some days I don't like being me (and today will probably be one of them, from sheer lack of sleep), but for all I know, I have done my best to choose the life I actually have. If I sometimes cannot resist aching for what I've chosen to let fall through my fingers - well, I think it's a good thing NaNoWriMo is just around the corner. I may well toss in a character named Cam Ehehi with prominent cheekbones, an aptitude for linear algebra and a flat in Paris. Ce sera sa vie...

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